Dear women,
The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts
and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate
response.
I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only
fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting
married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.
Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints
don't work. - Just say it!
No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, but not both.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags and shoes are for you.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not
worth the hassle.
Regards,
Men
