A well-known proverb states that an optimistic would say a glass is half full, while a pessimist would say
it is half empty. What would people of different professions and walks of life say?
The BANKER would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.
The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.
The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics
are collected.
The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.
The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?
The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?"
The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts; one a colorless, odorless liquid,
the other a colorless, odorless gas. Thus the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full,
one with a gas, one with a liquid.
The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it.
Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table
and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they
are doing.
If they have taken the table apart, put them in ENGINEERING.
If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to FINANCE.
If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send them to CONSULTING.
If they are talking to the chairs, PERSONNEL is a good spot for them.
If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, COMPUTER INFORMATION SYSTEMS is their niche.
If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're destined for the HELP DESK.
If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put them into PURCHASING.
If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from rainforests, PUBLIC RELATIONS would suit them well.
If they are sleeping, they are MANAGEMENT material.
If they are writing up the experience, send them to the TECHNICAL DOCUMENTS TEAM.
If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to SECURITY.
If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to MARKETING.
